Chapter 25
I waited for Sam to get home. It was past 10 when he came back home and I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to act around him anymore now that I knew the truth that I wasn't his wife. We were never married.
I didn't know what should I say, I was afraid I would say something wrong and I didn't want that to happen. I noticed that he didn't know what to do also. Because I didn't know what to do, I used the one thing every wife asked her husband every time he got home.
"Have you eaten?" I asked.
He looked slightly surprised then he flashed me his smile, the smile that I thought I would not see for a while. "I haven't." he answered me. "Have you?" I shook my head "Why not?" he asked.
"I was waiting for my husband." I smiled at him he was taken aback with what I just said. I knew he already knew that I found out the truth earlier. Then I saw how his face fell like what I just said was wrong, that maybe I wasn't waiting for him after all but my real husband. And I didn't want him to feel like that. "I was waiting for you."
He took a step forward and took my hand as he pulled me towards him. He held me tightly, his face buried into my shoulder and he was slightly shaking. I wrapped my arms to his body and patted him gently on his back. "I was so scared." he stated. "I was so scared that when I get back you're not here anymore." he continued. "I was so scared you left me."
He hugged me tighter and I did the same for him to know that I will never leave him. For him to know I didn't leave. "I'm here Sam."
"I was so scared that you would hate me, I still am scared Kathryn."Sam admitted.
"Why would I hate you Sam?" I asked him. "You may had lied to me being my husband but it doesn't matter." I told him.
He pulled away and looked into my eyes "It doesn't?" he asked.
"It doesn't."
"Why?"
"Because I love you."
"You still do?"
I smiled at him sweetly "Of course I still do. You may not be my real husband but you fit the role perfectly for three years. I love you, you alone." I told him honestly. It was the truth. Daniel may be my real husband but he wasn't there but Sam was.
I lost my memories and Sam was there to create new memories with me.
"I love you too Kathryn so much." he said as he crashed his body onto mine once again. I lightly chuckled "I love you." he kept on repeating those words and I believed every word he said because I felt it.
"Let's eat?" I asked him as I pulled away from his hug. He nodded, I took his hand and walked with him towards the dining room. It wasn't the time to ask him questions that filled my mind, I needed to make Sam feel that I won't be leaving him no matter what.
We ate silently, Sam kept on glancing over me maybe to check on me and every time he did, I would always smile at him. It was to reassure him. Sam was very vulnerable this time, fearing I'd leave him anytime soon.
After our dinner, I urged him to take a shower because it had been a long day and I was so sure he needed one. I prepared his clothes and lied them on our bed. I then changed into my nightdress and sat at the bed afterwards with a book in my hand.
I loved reading, it was the only thing I ever got to do when we were back in London well that was when I had my free time. My days were always scheduled, I had to follow that schedule, daddy was a perfectionist and he wanted everything his way.
Sam got out of the shower with a towel draped into his waist down. He quickly changed into his clothes and jumped into bed with me. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked carefully.
I closed my book and turned to him. "If you don't want to talk about it yet, we won't Sam. I'll wait for you to tell me your side." I smiled at him.
"But what if you turn to hate me and your father?"
"I won't hate you Sam. I will only hate you if you lied about loving me." I told him.
"I love you, no matter how twisted this is that's the only thing that isn't twisted Kathryn." Sam defended. I took his right hand and squeezed it to reassure him. "I love you."
"I love you too."
"I will tell you everything because I don't want to lie to you anymore. I don't want to wake up one day without you by my side." Sam told me. I nodded. "I fell in love with you at first sight."
"When did we meet?" I asked.
"At this gala event." Sam answered. "You were wearing a mask, everyone was. I spotted you talking to someone with a bored expression, I couldn't see it well but I knew you were bored so when it was time for the midnight dance, I asked for your hand and you hesitated at first but took it in the end. We were dancing and talking about the myth of the said gala......" he continued his story telling.
But I knew that story, I just saw it from my mind earlier with Daniel. Sam was telling me the same thing I saw but the difference was I saw I was with Daniel, was Sam lying to me now? No he wouldn't.
I continued to hear his story first.
"We were having fun. But the dance ended and you disappeared. I knew I had to find you and ask you for a date. I wanted to get to know you better. Then Uncle Rudolph introduced us." he said. "I was so happy but then that weekend you got married."
"With Daniel." I finished.
He nodded."I told myself I need to give up and so I did. One night I got a call from your father asking me if I would want to marry you. I said I was in love with you then he finally told me to meet him at his summer house in Baguio. Uncle and I met him there and he told us that you were in a plane crash and the doctors were operating on you in a small hospital in Baguio. He paid them a handsome amount of money to keep it confidential. I didn't know why he was hiding you from Daniel, from everyone but I followed through."
"So what happened next?"
"You weren't waking up so your father decided to put you on the first plane for London." Sam told me. So that was why we were in London. "I didn't know what was his plans when you wake up because clearly you would ask him to let you go back to Daniel. Then you woke up with no memory, it was like God was in favor of your father's bidding."
"Why did he want me separated with Daniel? He didn't like him before?" I asked. Why was daddy determined to separate me and Daniel?
"I asked him why he was lying, he told me that he just wanted to have a chance to be in your life. You see Kathryn, you grew up without him."
"He left me?" my voice broke.
He nodded. "It was the only thing he could do that time and when he heard you were in that plane crash he said it was his second chance to be with you. To finally get to know his own daughter."
A tear fell from my eyes. Daddy may not had shown me he loved me but now I could tell he did. "But why lie?"
"Because the lies were so much better than the truth that he left you. I on the other hand lied being your husband because it was the only way I could be with you." Sam said. "Do you hate me now because I'm selfish?" he asked looking at me with those eyes telling me he was so afraid of losing me.
I was too.
I shook my head. "I told you I would never hate you." I told him. I needed one more thing. I knew asking Sam that question wasn't appropriate but I needed to know. I had to know. It would sting but it was the only question that had been bugging me. "Sam." I started "Did I love Daniel?" I asked him.
He went still. I thought he wouldn't answer but he did "I guess you did." he answered.
"How would you know I loved him?"I asked.
"Because you chose him." He answered.
"It could be an arranged marriage." I said nonchalantly.
"You were engaged to be married to his cousin. But you chose Daniel that only meant that you loved him don't you think?" he said and I knew he was kinda hurt. Then why didn't he lie and told me that I didn't love Daniel?
I knew he was afraid that once I learned that I loved Daniel I might go back to him but then why didn't he just lie?
Would you like him to lie Kathryn?
I don't know. Maybe.
But it was all in the past now. I had forgotten Daniel and if I truly loved him would never be answered. What was important was right now. "You know that it doesn't mean anything right Sam? That knowing I loved Daniel in the past doesn't change what we are." I told him.
He smiled at me, the kind of smile that told me he was happy that I felt that way. "Thank you Kathryn." he hugged me. "Thank you for staying with me."
"You are my home Sam."
"Would you like us to go back to London now?" he asked me.
I shook my head and pulled away from him. "I can't. I promised Daniel we would stay."
"Why?"
"Because I want to know more about my past." I told him honestly. I shouldn't be this honest with Sam after all he lied to me but he was still my husband, my love and I wouldn't lie to him.
"You would leave me." he stated.
My heart sunk when I saw his pained expression. "Sam, it's my past....."
"With Daniel." he finished.
"But you are my present and my future aren't you?"
He looked up to me."I am?"
I chuckled. "Yes you are. Daniel is my past and you are my present and future." I assured him.
Daniel was my past nothing more.
And I just wanted to know about my past, about why my own father lied to me. About why Paul also lied.
I just wanted to see him I can regain my memories by letting the people from my past tell me something about it.
That was all and at the end I would choose Sam.
He was the man I love after all.
Author's Note:
5 more chapters left before the ending. By the end of May Just a Spoonful of Love will also end. The update schedule is still the same every Sunday, 6 pm (Philippine Time). Next week, two or more chapters will be posted at the same time. Enjoy reading. xx
I didn't know what should I say, I was afraid I would say something wrong and I didn't want that to happen. I noticed that he didn't know what to do also. Because I didn't know what to do, I used the one thing every wife asked her husband every time he got home.
"Have you eaten?" I asked.
He looked slightly surprised then he flashed me his smile, the smile that I thought I would not see for a while. "I haven't." he answered me. "Have you?" I shook my head "Why not?" he asked.
"I was waiting for my husband." I smiled at him he was taken aback with what I just said. I knew he already knew that I found out the truth earlier. Then I saw how his face fell like what I just said was wrong, that maybe I wasn't waiting for him after all but my real husband. And I didn't want him to feel like that. "I was waiting for you."
He took a step forward and took my hand as he pulled me towards him. He held me tightly, his face buried into my shoulder and he was slightly shaking. I wrapped my arms to his body and patted him gently on his back. "I was so scared." he stated. "I was so scared that when I get back you're not here anymore." he continued. "I was so scared you left me."
He hugged me tighter and I did the same for him to know that I will never leave him. For him to know I didn't leave. "I'm here Sam."
"I was so scared that you would hate me, I still am scared Kathryn."Sam admitted.
"Why would I hate you Sam?" I asked him. "You may had lied to me being my husband but it doesn't matter." I told him.
He pulled away and looked into my eyes "It doesn't?" he asked.
"It doesn't."
"Why?"
"Because I love you."
"You still do?"
I smiled at him sweetly "Of course I still do. You may not be my real husband but you fit the role perfectly for three years. I love you, you alone." I told him honestly. It was the truth. Daniel may be my real husband but he wasn't there but Sam was.
I lost my memories and Sam was there to create new memories with me.
"I love you too Kathryn so much." he said as he crashed his body onto mine once again. I lightly chuckled "I love you." he kept on repeating those words and I believed every word he said because I felt it.
"Let's eat?" I asked him as I pulled away from his hug. He nodded, I took his hand and walked with him towards the dining room. It wasn't the time to ask him questions that filled my mind, I needed to make Sam feel that I won't be leaving him no matter what.
We ate silently, Sam kept on glancing over me maybe to check on me and every time he did, I would always smile at him. It was to reassure him. Sam was very vulnerable this time, fearing I'd leave him anytime soon.
After our dinner, I urged him to take a shower because it had been a long day and I was so sure he needed one. I prepared his clothes and lied them on our bed. I then changed into my nightdress and sat at the bed afterwards with a book in my hand.
I loved reading, it was the only thing I ever got to do when we were back in London well that was when I had my free time. My days were always scheduled, I had to follow that schedule, daddy was a perfectionist and he wanted everything his way.
Sam got out of the shower with a towel draped into his waist down. He quickly changed into his clothes and jumped into bed with me. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked carefully.
I closed my book and turned to him. "If you don't want to talk about it yet, we won't Sam. I'll wait for you to tell me your side." I smiled at him.
"But what if you turn to hate me and your father?"
"I won't hate you Sam. I will only hate you if you lied about loving me." I told him.
"I love you, no matter how twisted this is that's the only thing that isn't twisted Kathryn." Sam defended. I took his right hand and squeezed it to reassure him. "I love you."
"I love you too."
"I will tell you everything because I don't want to lie to you anymore. I don't want to wake up one day without you by my side." Sam told me. I nodded. "I fell in love with you at first sight."
"When did we meet?" I asked.
"At this gala event." Sam answered. "You were wearing a mask, everyone was. I spotted you talking to someone with a bored expression, I couldn't see it well but I knew you were bored so when it was time for the midnight dance, I asked for your hand and you hesitated at first but took it in the end. We were dancing and talking about the myth of the said gala......" he continued his story telling.
But I knew that story, I just saw it from my mind earlier with Daniel. Sam was telling me the same thing I saw but the difference was I saw I was with Daniel, was Sam lying to me now? No he wouldn't.
I continued to hear his story first.
"We were having fun. But the dance ended and you disappeared. I knew I had to find you and ask you for a date. I wanted to get to know you better. Then Uncle Rudolph introduced us." he said. "I was so happy but then that weekend you got married."
"With Daniel." I finished.
He nodded."I told myself I need to give up and so I did. One night I got a call from your father asking me if I would want to marry you. I said I was in love with you then he finally told me to meet him at his summer house in Baguio. Uncle and I met him there and he told us that you were in a plane crash and the doctors were operating on you in a small hospital in Baguio. He paid them a handsome amount of money to keep it confidential. I didn't know why he was hiding you from Daniel, from everyone but I followed through."
"So what happened next?"
"You weren't waking up so your father decided to put you on the first plane for London." Sam told me. So that was why we were in London. "I didn't know what was his plans when you wake up because clearly you would ask him to let you go back to Daniel. Then you woke up with no memory, it was like God was in favor of your father's bidding."
"Why did he want me separated with Daniel? He didn't like him before?" I asked. Why was daddy determined to separate me and Daniel?
"I asked him why he was lying, he told me that he just wanted to have a chance to be in your life. You see Kathryn, you grew up without him."
"He left me?" my voice broke.
He nodded. "It was the only thing he could do that time and when he heard you were in that plane crash he said it was his second chance to be with you. To finally get to know his own daughter."
A tear fell from my eyes. Daddy may not had shown me he loved me but now I could tell he did. "But why lie?"
"Because the lies were so much better than the truth that he left you. I on the other hand lied being your husband because it was the only way I could be with you." Sam said. "Do you hate me now because I'm selfish?" he asked looking at me with those eyes telling me he was so afraid of losing me.
I was too.
I shook my head. "I told you I would never hate you." I told him. I needed one more thing. I knew asking Sam that question wasn't appropriate but I needed to know. I had to know. It would sting but it was the only question that had been bugging me. "Sam." I started "Did I love Daniel?" I asked him.
He went still. I thought he wouldn't answer but he did "I guess you did." he answered.
"How would you know I loved him?"I asked.
"Because you chose him." He answered.
"It could be an arranged marriage." I said nonchalantly.
"You were engaged to be married to his cousin. But you chose Daniel that only meant that you loved him don't you think?" he said and I knew he was kinda hurt. Then why didn't he lie and told me that I didn't love Daniel?
I knew he was afraid that once I learned that I loved Daniel I might go back to him but then why didn't he just lie?
Would you like him to lie Kathryn?
I don't know. Maybe.
But it was all in the past now. I had forgotten Daniel and if I truly loved him would never be answered. What was important was right now. "You know that it doesn't mean anything right Sam? That knowing I loved Daniel in the past doesn't change what we are." I told him.
He smiled at me, the kind of smile that told me he was happy that I felt that way. "Thank you Kathryn." he hugged me. "Thank you for staying with me."
"You are my home Sam."
"Would you like us to go back to London now?" he asked me.
I shook my head and pulled away from him. "I can't. I promised Daniel we would stay."
"Why?"
"Because I want to know more about my past." I told him honestly. I shouldn't be this honest with Sam after all he lied to me but he was still my husband, my love and I wouldn't lie to him.
"You would leave me." he stated.
My heart sunk when I saw his pained expression. "Sam, it's my past....."
"With Daniel." he finished.
"But you are my present and my future aren't you?"
He looked up to me."I am?"
I chuckled. "Yes you are. Daniel is my past and you are my present and future." I assured him.
Daniel was my past nothing more.
And I just wanted to know about my past, about why my own father lied to me. About why Paul also lied.
I just wanted to see him I can regain my memories by letting the people from my past tell me something about it.
That was all and at the end I would choose Sam.
Author's Note:
5 more chapters left before the ending. By the end of May Just a Spoonful of Love will also end. The update schedule is still the same every Sunday, 6 pm (Philippine Time). Next week, two or more chapters will be posted at the same time. Enjoy reading. xx
OMG author. Naaawa ako kay DJ T.T So excited for your next update.
ReplyDeleteHuhu .. Cry2x ako .. kawawa si DJ TT___________TT
ReplyDeleteDiba si Julia yung kasayaw niya sa Gala? Edi si Julia yung talagang mahal niya?
ReplyDelete